By Jim Stephens
I’m almost 65, but many tell me I look very young for my age. Probably the major reason for this is I have been blessed with a wonderful wife. She understood from the beginning that one of the basic emotional, mental, and physical needs of a man, husband, and father is regular sexual relations about three times a week. And we are still doing it.
I studied engineering in college and I like things that are practical and down to earth. I encountered the revelations of Rev. Sun Myung Moon when I was 24. Over the last 40 years, I’ve had profound spiritual insights and experiences with God. For five years, I co-led with my wife the Blessed Family Department and studied all about marriage enrichment and research. More recently, I became a certified practitioner of an energy healing technique.
Recently, three men revealed to me in brief conversations that they wanted more sex with their wives. Then the pieces began falling into place and a strong impression came over me to write on this topic. Brothers and sisters could be so much happier, joyful, and fulfilled in their marriages than they are. The understanding that God “downloaded” to me I’m calling “God’s Original Design for Sex: Three Times a Week.”
We know we are made in the image of God. Gen. 1:27 says, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.”
God revealed to Rev. Moon about the fuller potential of the oneness with Him through the husband and wife relationship centered on God. It is designed to be a more complete “image of God” than any individual. It manifests God’s masculine and feminine natures in oneness and harmony. It inherits God’s greatest creativity. It can be “heaven on earth.”
After creating Adam and Eve, God said it was “very good” (Gen. 1:31). What happened? As we know, the world has tremendous problems related to sex, from sex trafficking and slavery of young girls, to sexually transmitted diseases, to issues between the vast majority of husbands and wives surrounding sex.
Unificationism says the biblical Adam and Eve were similar to immature teenagers having sex before they reached a spiritual oneness with God (“be fruitful”). God warned them not to “eat the fruit” until it was the right time when they could handle it. If they were not mature, a true family of love would not be created.
Look at what a dysfunctional “first family” we descended from. The first son, Cain killed his younger brother Abel. Is it any wonder we are all screwed up in male-female relationships and brother-brother relationships? This is not the Original Plan that was supposed to be “very good.”
Adam and Eve never grew to maturity individually, so their sexual relations were never “blessed” or approved by God. Only one man, Jesus Christ, fulfilled that original ideal. He was the only one qualified to be married in the eyes of God and have sex according to the original standard.
All throughout history there has been a huge disconnect, insecurity, and dysfunction in sexual relations. We all inherited this in our genes.
Jesus was able to forgive sins even while he was on the earth, but he did not get rid of the Original Sin. Romans 8:23 says, “Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.”
After the Fall of Man, we were separated from God and not fully His children any more. How do we completely return to God’s side and achieve the original ideal? We need to be adopted back into God’s lineage. Original Sin needs to be forgiven so it is gone from the human race forever. This is the purpose for the Second Coming of Christ.
The Second Coming will be a physical man to replace Adam, but there must also be a physical woman “messiah” to replace Eve. The “Bride of Christ” will be a literal, physical bride and they will restore the original position of Adam and Eve, be blessed in marriage by God’s authority, and have physical children who are born sinless.
Their victorious restoration of the Fall makes the condition for God to give them authority to forgive the Original Sin on the earth. They can then use that authority to adopt the rest of us back into God’s lineage. This is the redemption of our bodies mentioned in Romans 8:23. For those marriages that receive this forgiveness, called the Blessing Ceremony, the husband and wife are forgiven of Original Sin and subsequently can bear children that do not inherit the Original Sin. Before God, those children are born sinless.
This is the restoration plan of God for “physical redemption.” Just as Jesus left baptism and Holy Communion for purification and joining the “body of Christ,” the Blessing Ceremony by Rev. and Mrs. Moon is authorized by God to free us from bondage to Original Sin. The Blessing grants us permission from God to have sex. No couples in history ever had this before. The Blessing has come to the earth and God’s permission can now be received.
This is the physical foundation that will eventually lead to the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.
The world is in tremendous confusion and upheaval regarding sex because it is being prepared for the dawning of heavenly sex. The so called “Sexual Revolution” and sexual liberation have not liberated us at all. Family and societal breakdown are at an all-time high. It has left people searching for “true” sex.
If husband and wife become the Image of God, what would a true sexual relationship look like? What is sexual intimacy for a husband and wife who have reached the level of maturity that Jesus did?
God’s original design must certainly have been a “win-win-win-win-win.” It would be joy and happiness for God, husbands, wives, children, and society in more ways than we can even imagine.
We are fortunate to live in a time of increasing knowledge about the human body. Research has confirmed that male and female bodies are governed by totally different neurotransmitters: testosterone for men and oxytocin for women. We know that testosterone levels rise in men every 2-3 days, pushing them to seek out their wives for physical intimacy. This is by design so “that they may become one flesh” (Mark 10:8) and implies a oneness that is the Image of God.
Again imagine a woman married to Jesus. What would their untainted sexual relations be like? Wouldn’t the essence and beauty of true womanhood as designed by God be embodied here.
Through deeply studying conception, I realized why God created men to be fertile every 2-3 days. He had to. If it was more of a monthly fertility cycle, then conception would be much more difficult because the male and female fertility periods would not synchronize. Not only that, but this driving energy is for building the oneness to reflect God. The role of female energy is complementary. It nurtures and sustains.
Personal relationship counselor, Dr. John Gray, author of the bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex, discusses “Why Mars and Venus Collide.”
Research is now discovering the benefits to women of frequent sex within a loving marriage. Semen carries ingredients that improve the physical health and immune systems of women. This is no accident. God’s original plan was beneficial for all.
There are other known benefits from frequent sex. For example, here are “20 Reasons To Have Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It.”
The book, The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love, by a Christian couple, shares some profound concepts related to our hearts and souls.
A man doesn’t want sex three times a week because he is fallen. It’s the way his body was made by God. The Fall of Man messed up everything about our relationship with God and every other person, but it didn’t change the way our bodies were designed.
Now that the Blessing Ceremony has come, we can be granted permission from God to freely enjoy sex with our spouse shamelessly and joyfully. And God is happy about it. The sexual organs become the new “Holy of Holies” where we meet God.
For any couples wanting to experience this but needing some help in this area, I highly recommend a new book called The Bead Method: Creating a Generous Marriage.
Think again about Jesus if he were a literal husband and father married to a female messiah. What kind of family environment did God have in mind for their children? What kind of neighborhoods would exist with families like that? What would our cities and countries be like? All your aunts and uncles, the businessmen, the politicians, the artists, and the media people would all be filled with the love of God and expressing it in their own unique way.
Sounds like the Heavenly Kingdom to me.♦
Jim Stephens (UTS Class of 1977) and his wife, Hiromi, were blessed among the 2,075 Couples in 1982, and have five children. He has written and spoken extensively in the American Movement about men and women, families, matching, marriage, and the Blessing, having served with Hiromi for five years as Co-Director of the Blessed Family Department.